Baron Chen!

From Fated to Love You :D
I think he's so cute/adorable/HAWT.
:D He's so much better than Ethan Ruan; kinda.
I like them both ^-^
But I think she should've gone with Dylan ( the guy who Baron plays.)
Also; whats with the name BARON? ahha, it sounds like that guy from harry potter :D

I LOVE HIM THOUGH !

I need,

Someone to talk to.
I really do. Someone who I can, or Learn to trust.
Please.
I really do.
I feel horrible.
And it's me .
Ajfcaoiewjfw.
Please ?

This feeling

Will never go away. It never ceases to ruin my day, no matter how great.
Errgh. Sometimes I just want to WOJIEXFDIEJDSF LIKJFISEJXFOIJEIOWJFIOEWJFXWEJFWJXIOEWJFIOW.
I need to run outside, and to sit there in the grass, look up and just think about everything.
It calms me, its weird, but it calms me. BUT IT SNOWED. INFREAKING APRIL. -.-"
erk ! Not only am I feeling worthless these days, more and more and more and more and more,
I feel like a Failure. I dont know if its just my grandparent's words sunken into me, but its getting at me like aiwejcfoeiwjc.
Only 37 School days left til graduation. That's huge.
Last Quarter.
Get your head in it, Maria.

EWJFOIWJCFOEWJVOWIEJFCOIWJFOLSJDCFASLIJFXO. Help, please. I need someone to make me laugh. Someone to make me feel like im not worthless or a failure.

I need a friend.

The Rollercoaster.

Haha, thanks becky for subscribing, You're my first (:
COME TO SCHOOL I MISS YOU!

Lawl, really. Anyway.
I'm feeling kinda...misplaced.
Its like dejavu. Just like last year. When I felt i was completely worthless and had no place in the world?
It's funny, after I brought that up in that chat, I've been thinking about it more and more.
Its weird. Right when I begin to think that, something happens and it makes me feel super duper happy and I'm there, laughing with my friends.
Weird, eh?
So after trying to get off the roller coaster,
I guess i can't.
How do you make it constant?
I know, I know how to. But its difficult to.

Her will is fighting to stay,

Not to go back,

Not to feel the same way...

sound familiar, to a few people?

Looking for the light,

The light that will carry me through,

The light which will be with me,

Through pain and loneliness.

The light that will make my life constant, without waver.

Ladeela. Sounds strangely the same topic, yeah?

Well, this is all I gotta say.

I must be blind, Seeking for the Close.

March 12, 2009

I'm always up pretty late nowadays, i've really REALLY gotta get some sleep. (:
But homework officially sucks! GEU Unit is really mind nerving. I'm stressing out cause i havent finished ONE TEST, but i just finished my resume.
I'm working on my lawyer test- since the teacher helper test is hard; giong to save that for later :D

Sooo, I miss TAF. I really cant wait for it, i really wannna see my friends + everyone again.
Its my last year of JH. *sob*
I really don't wanna leave, i can't believe its only one week! TAF feels like it should be more than that.
But thats what makes it so priceless.
That week is always the best week of my whole entire year.

I miss it. July 28th. I'm counting down.

Holocaust Poem.

For School, tell me what`chuu think.

We no longer thought about the absent,
Fate was fading into a fog.
Our minds incapable of redemption
No longer clinging to our pride and self preservation
Instincts and souls deserting us,
Condemned to wander space until the end of time.
Finding nothing, and without hope.
Our pride had numbed our minds
No longer able to think
And in a time of lucidity
All we wanted was to be oblivious,
Seeking oblivion in our damned fates.
Every tear and every cry
Shot us deeper than a rifle
For we knew that once we left
we would never see our loved ones,
the ones we used to care about,
anymore.
hope was gone,
no where to be found.
Terrifyingly stranded,
without anyone, without faith.


I improvised a bit at the end, lawl.
I think it sucks like crappp.
Whatdyaa think?
Leave me loveee (:

Lately,

I've been occupied.
This year is going by faster than i thought- it's crazy!
And, things are changing even faster.
Friends being defined, seperated, and bonding, its complicated.
With someone pushing herself away, and taking all your friends with her,
What do you do?
Do you stop her? Yell at her?
Well, all i know is my friends are the ones who are still with me right now and have been with me since ever.

Anyway, i'm excited for the 4th of July. I'm going camping! With my old choir homies!
Its exciting. And i'm super excited for high school- Everything about it is exhilirating.
& Sooo, I'm going to go do my homework now. Lawl, Great!

Peaceeeeee! <3

020709.

i realized that feelings can get hurt easier than people around here think.
it could be just something you say, without thinking
or something you mean to be a joke...
but even so, feelings can be hurt.

And once in a while, when someone accidentally hurts your feelings, or thinks they hurt your feelings,
It hurts them too.
thats one heck of an awesome person, right?
yes, she is.
hugs make people feel alot better.
knowing that someone is there, someone cares, someone will help.
thanks (:

everyone's a sinner. how you face that sin is up to you. but there's one way that God likes more;
the confession. We confess what we did wrong, and we pray for God to have mercy on us.
'Fess up. You've got nothing to lose.

the end.

through the year,
many scars have been cut,
many feelings hurt,
many ties severed...
and sometimes i look back and wonder what would have happened if none of that had happened...

but then i take ahold of reality
realize they did happen
and nothing i can do can change that
so at the end of the year
we'll just hold our heads up

and take whatever's coming,
as one.

complications.

people are strange sometimes.
and the thing is you cant get in their heads, either, so no matter how many 'theories' you make, or what you think they're thinking...
you never know if its true.
and you dont know who to believe!
something tells me its de ja vu, all this stuff happening with control, and friends, and seizure and whatever is happening right now.

and i keep telling myself that i should just let go, and just be happy with what i have, what people i have by me...
and to not miss what i've obviously lost...
but it feels like one moment we're awkward, and the next moment we were best friends.

what happened to you? i never knew you guys were such GREAT friends.
pushing everyone away...pulling everyone in...
blagh.

holler.

hiiii.

first time! just got it cause i was boreddd, and yeahh [:
and decided that it might be fun- later in my life.
hopefully i wont regret this.
now i just need one of my deep moment to come and whack me in the face.
thats when im usually deep + stuff. some people would know, haha (:
yay!
blah. holler. homework time again. >[